Can Boundaries & Privacy Exist in the Digital Age? Here Are 3 Reasons Why You Need a Social Media Detox

Let's talk about how I almost let comparison, workaholism, and the threat of self-exploitation stop me from actualizing my goals, purpose, and visions of launching a successful, mindful business. It’s been three years since I have shared my life or put myself and my work out there online. It wasn’t a planned hiatus, but it was definitiely needed for my mental health. Now choosing to come back, I wanted to make sure I returned on my terms and according to the values I stand for. Here are a few reasons why you need a social media detox to find your calm:

1. Time Away from Hustle Culture

In these past three years, authenticity, intentional living, and healing have been my top priorities; because prior to taking a break, my mental health was suffering due to me trying to keep up with: 

• the social demand as a creator

• trying to be everything to everyone

• trying to please everyone

• doing all the things to advance my career

• trying to be seen

• trying to succeed

Comparison, self-doubt, and lack of stability just ate away at me simultaneously with the hustle. In this time, I really got to step back. I got to see how addicted I was to the external validation, caffeine, and my anxiety. I got to see how much of a workaholic I was. The break truly did happen for a reason, because it forced me to slow down and put my mental health first — my values, healing, and privacy first. 

2. Time to Reflect & Set Boundaries

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared to be returning to the digital space, because unfortunately, self-exploitation has become an acceptable way to make a living. And I do not mean that in a degrading or judgmental way. I mean it in the sense that we as people are not, or either we feel as though, we cannot keep or have anything for ourselves anymore. We, as a society, have assumed the position that life offline does not matter or that it is not as pretty, it is not as enjoyable or desireable as life in the spolight. Where now, we may judge what that looks like rather than identifying with the present moment. 

We, ourselves, are defying what it means to have: 

• boundaries

• privacy

• things that are just ours

• things that are sacred to us

And prior to my social detox, I did not — could not — see just how much of myself I was sharing online for drive, for the audience, for that sense of community I was so desperately longing for. In that, I unfortunately opened myself up to people who saw that as their golden ticket and opportunity to judge something other than themselves.

After hiring me, my boss at the time told the entire team about my online presence and the work I was doing. I had no idea my boss did this until after a couple weeks on the job, but the damage had already been done. My choice to either share that or keep that part of my life out of a new workspace was no longer my choice. It had became known, and a couple of my workers used what they learned about me and my “hippie-inspired” values from reading about them online (hi, former blogger here). They were able to judge, twist, and manipulate all that they preceived me to be to get ahead in the workplace. They weaponized what I shared and used it to invalidate me, my success at work, and all of my efforts to hold them accountable for their unacceptable behaviors. I remember feeling so defeated, but also angry because I could not blame anyone else but myself for oversharing, for putting so much of myself online in the first place.

So I guess now, I am very cautious about the parts of me and my journey I share online. I am aware of the things I want to keep sacred. As much as I want to create a truly judgment-free space, I cannot (yet) say that I am not afraid that what is shared now, and how I want to be seen now, will not result in at least a little bit of that judgment I experienced some time ago. But now knowing myself more, and what my own limits are, I know now that is all part of the process. And I am more secure in myself today, clear on what and how I want to live my life — focused on the peace and slowness of living well — that I am choosing to trust in this time around. 

3. Time to Reconnect with Your Needs

Now, I trust that I can handle what comes from this phase of the journey, and I trust myself to be open to the expeirence. Why? Because I have taken the time to learn more about what I need and the parts of me I feel others are entitled to. This time around, I am approaching this return to the digital space with a sense of newness, preparedness, and understanding of where my mental health and personal life fins into that.

For now, I am choosing not to show my home, face, family and friends in any way. Comments are not always going to be enabled, and I am sure that I will unplug every now and then. Because, that is where I am choosing to draw the line and where it ends for me. The most important thing is that I have decided to return to doing what is and what feels comfortable to me in order to find my tribe, and my voice too. In a way, I am finding more freedom and liberation through that. Because this time, it’s my choice and I’ve had the time to think about where I want to draw those lines, and with how I want my voice to be heard.

This time around, I just want people to hear and connect with the message, not concern themselves with how good it all looks or comparing themselves to who the message is coming from. That is how I am feeling now, and I am open to how that might change or evolve in the future.

All in all, there are all things I think more people may want to think, talk about, and consider before plastering their lives online for the whole world to judge and see. It is something I wish I had stopped to think about before experiencing a mental breakdown and workplace trauma. I guess the moral of the story — the lesson I got out of my social media detox — and what I want to leave you with here today is:

Your time is sacred. Your energy is sacred. Your life is sacred. Treat it as such, and others will follow suit.