Surviving Toxic Workplaces: A Conscious Guide for Marginalized Identities
How do you navigate toxic work environments? In 2017, I was hazed at a new job and had a traumatic first-time experience with Human Resources. Finally, leaving that job a couple of years later felt so empowering. However, it showed me that America’s workplaces have a real problem with power, bias, and accountability.
A few years later, I joined a team that prided itself on ethics and inclusivity. Unfortunately, I realized as the only black woman on the team that those were just pretty words with no action or intention behind them. After my supervisor posted something racist and I gave the company feedback they requested about the situation, I found myself without a job just in time for the holidays. It was a gut punch I wasn’t prepared for, and it was the final straw that got me to leave corporate America altogether.
Even in work environments that may be predominately minorities, I’ve still had my fair share of emotionally and culturally insensitive coworkers, egomaniacs for bosses, and toxic workplace cultures that leave me wanting to quit all traditional labor alternatives to become a full-time, serial entrepreneur. With the rise of conversations about workers’ rights, strikes, and toxic workplace lawsuits, this all begs the question: How can marginalized identities survive these environments? How can we navigate them while keeping our peace intact and at the top of our minds?
Uphold Your Own Boundaries
One thing that’s important to remember: You’re a person first, not a work mule. Although it’s very tempting, don’t do unnecessary emotional labor or education. People of color, especially Black people, have been conditioned for centuries to understand, anticipate, and serve the needs of everyone around us. This leads to us abandoning our own needs, overworking with limited opportunities for advancement, and being severely underpaid. Society also has a knack for normalizing the magical negro trope whenever possible, but people of color are not adult babysitters or emotional support dogs. It’s exhausting to consistently think steps ahead, navigating and assessing your safety in various settings while coaching socially inept people. So protect your peace now, and make a commitment to yourself that you’ll stick to your scope of work only. Doing favors and putting in extra time can quickly become taken for granted.
Limit code-switching as much as you can as well, and don’t apologize for being your authentic self. It may be like second nature to make everyone else around you comfortable with your presence but challenge yourself to refrain from shrinking yourself. Break free from the boxes and mental categories people tend to put you in. Buck the norm of what a “fill-in-the-blank” person is supposed to look, sound, act, and perform like. This can start unraveling the threads of the status quo at your workplace and highlight how exploitation, intolerance, and power imbalances show up.
As you uphold these social boundaries, understand your rights. For example, others’ curiosity about curly locks leads some people to put their hands in other folks’ hair. If you didn’t consent, that is assault and unwanted touching. Yes, I’m a firm believer in using appropriate words for people to understand the severity of their actions. No matter how playful the dig or offense, you have the right to seek recompense for offenses. It may be helpful to brush up on policies regarding conflict and conflict resolution at your organization. Some workplaces require arbitration, so you’ll want to know what your options and obligations are if you feel actions have escalated to the point of making a report.
2. Don’t Count on DEI and Solidarity
Understanding the lingo is crucial. DEI has slowly transitioned over the years to mean a workplace inclusive of women, specifically white women. Although we’ve made some strides as a society, people of color still have to jump through hoops to get through the door. You may notice that you’re asked to prove your expertise with more reference checks and work samples than others. Then, coworkers and authority figures may question and undermine your experience when you’re acting as a subject matter expert in the position. You may not know how to describe this initially but know that this is rooted in bias and white supremacy. It means your workplace still has a lot of ways to go to truly practice inclusivity and respect other identities in authority positions, especially those who have more knowledge than what some are comfortable with.
Certain work environments have their own lingo as well. For example, a workplace that describes itself as “scrappy” means you will more than likely have little support making unrealistic expectations happen on strict timelines and with little input, no matter how much the organization claims to be team-driven and values your voice. With marginalized folks typically getting the short end of the stick when asking for support, it’s best to crack the code of a workplace. Google key phrases used on company career pages and meet with newbies to decipher what the work environment will really be like. If you can nail down a couple of informational interviews or coffee chats with other diverse people at the company, you can put your feelers out for what you might experience.
Solidarity—specifically POC solidarity—amongst the working class would be nice to have. It’s not always a realistic expectation, however, and shouldn’t be considered a given. Since capitalism has us all in a chokehold, know that some people view work as strictly business and not at all about community — aka, they’re only there for their paycheck, growth, and advancement. Some POC and disenfranchised identities may be in denial about how accepted they are as well. They may deny racism, colorism, sexism, ableism, ageism, etc., affect them and their work. They may believe all employees are judged based on their merit and productivity alone. In other words, these folks are drinking the Kool-Aid. These are not the people to confide in or seek camaraderie. You’ll want to establish other allies in your workplace instead.
3. Establish External Allies
The phrase “it’s who you know” has its advantages for those who may not have as much social currency as others. Making friends in toxic workplaces with those adjacent to you can offer perspective. Perhaps, what you’re experiencing is an organizational-wide phenomenon, and you can find allies in those holding similar positions. Have honest conversations with the circle you curate—questions like:
Do supervisors share the same temperament when employees set boundaries?
Do you feel you’re able to do your job well in the current environment?
Are you getting paid the same for executing similar tasks?
How would you want the work culture to change?
What would help you do your job more effectively?
They may share the same background, concerns, and needs that would be better to bring to the forefront together as a united front. You’ll also be able to support each other through the chaotic field of microaggressions, mistreatment, fear, and ego trips. If available at your workplace, you might want to put in the time to befriend a couple of Human Resources employees. With more intimate knowledge of your work and perspective, they may be able to offer unique guidance or advocate for departmental transitions that may be a better culture and leadership fit for you. If all else fails, or in addition to creating a chosen family of friends, try identifying allies within the external collaborators you work with. You should have at least one person from partnering teams you trust enough to share your experience with if you don’t feel comfortable with anyone else at your organization.
4. Reconsider Human Resources
Depending on how genuine the workplace is about creating a healthy and inclusive environment, it may be worth it to get Human Resources (HR) involved. Smaller companies may hire out and retain a Human Resources consultant to resolve issues if they have a designated party or department at all. Remember that Human Resources is there to protect the workplace, company, or organization. That means you’ll want to:
Document and save everything related to the toxicity
How toxicity is showing up
Who is ruffling feathers
Specific incidents with “receipts”
How you’ve tried to resolve the situation
What you would like to see by coming forward with your experience
HR may not always be able to enact change, as you may be the first brave soul to come forward, but they typically don’t take kindly to retaliation of any sort by superiors. It may take a while to see actual progress as they do have to follow protocol, so maintaining a record of what’s happening at the moment is highly recommended to safeguard your sanity in the meantime. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for a different contact if you feel the specialist you’re speaking to is exhibiting prejudice of any kind.
At the end of the day, your peace matters. You deserve to feel safe in every aspect of the word. Whether that’s at home, at work, in conversation, or in partnership. Build a strong support system of good-natured, compassionate people. They are out there, and they can make navigating harmful work environments a little bit more bearable. We may not all love our jobs because debt slavery is a real thing in capitalistic states, but protecting your peace as a person of color in a toxic workplace should never come at the cost of your health, mental health, or livelihood.